Says David Pacchioli, "Covering research at Penn State is like fishing in the Mediterranean: Drop a net anywhere and you’re bound to come up with something interesting. This column is for the stuff that otherwise would have to be thrown back — the anchovies flopping at the edges of my mind."

"The Truth is Out There"
Why is it that my wife, no matter how crowded the parking lot, can always find a parking space? Is it really, as she contends, because she maintains a positive attitude, and doesn’t sulk and curse the sorry state of the world as she circles around, tires crunching gravel? Excuse me, but I don’t subscribe to folk wisdom. And why is it that she never spills food on herself? I’m convinced there is something behind these seemingly loosely related phenomena, and that science can ferret it out. This is what I mean when I talk about a unified theory.

"Beyond the Godfather"
My grandma, let it be said, was my professor of Italian-American studies. She was the one who cooked the spezzata of blessed memory; who deep-fried the cagiuni and ladled the rich red giblet gravy into the centers of steaming bowls of golden broth; who introduced me to "the Italian store," where strings of dark salami and globes of mozzarella hung in ripe clusters from the ceiling, and the odor of fresh-cut provolone could pin you to the wall.

"Film Fest"
In Hollywood's imagination, grad students exhibit certain constants: They are nocturnal, hyper-verbal, supremely dedicated to their work, and averse to doing laundry. After a bit of couch-based, VCR-driven research, however, I've teased out some subtleties in these depictions that can be catalogued under three distinct strains.

"Phasers on Stun"
How hard can it be to figure out a way to send teeth-chattering ultrasound waves, or even noxious smells, through a telephone receiver? Better still, how about a signal-bouncing technology that automatically re-routes unwanted calls to the homes of telemarketing executives?

"Eat Brazil"
In an open-air restaurant in Par‡ I experienced the dish known as tacac‡, which for some reason Paraense don't like to hear referred to as soup. Served in a deep bowl, it incorporates shrimp and tapioca with a pungent yellow liquid known as tucupi, and a dark leafy green named jambu, one of whose pleasant effects is to mildly numb the lips and tongue.

"Tick Talk"
There are few things as disgusting as an engorged tick: that shiny grey satchel plump with your (or your dog's) dark blood; the pinpoint head; the short, curled legs; the awful lethargy.

"Our Favorite Martin"
A light has gone out on the prairie. Roger Martin, editor at the University of Kansas, has doused his research magazine, Explore.

"Nobody's Perfect"
Recent studies simply do not support the contention that having lofty personal standards or being highly organized is, per se, a negative psychological trait. So concludes Robert B. Slaney, Penn State professor of clinical psychology, according to a press release.

"Go Metric"
Back in eighth grade I was all ready for the metric system. It was coming, sure as tomorrow; sure as the conversions they made us do for homework. That was in 1972. I called Tom Thwaites to find out what was the hold-up.

"Against All Odds"
My most powerful lesson in probability had been brutally simple: the penny-flipping experiment in ninth-grade chemistry. I flipped and flipped, dutifully recording heads and tails in my lab notebook to the piercing strains of a Tom Lehrer record. (Lehrer was my chemistry teacher's idol, but that's another story.) It was like communing with some sacred law: The longer I flipped, the closer I got to the truth.

"Blinded by Science"
When I heard that Dan Mushalko would be at this year's Graduate Research Exhibition, I didn't know quite what to expect. This is, after all, a man who announced the birth of his second child with an e-mail message headed, "The Clone Experiments, part 2."

"Bugman's Progress" My brother is easily identified in the field by his characteristic pose: A palm is raised to within a few inches of his face, which is down-turned, studious. The index finger of the other hand is acting as a pointer and a probe. He's picked some tiny thing, some leaf or bug, from a bush or a tuft of grass, and is scrutinizing it.

Photograph of a bulb of garlic by James Collins. To experience more garlic, read Dave Pacchioli's May 1999 article "The Joy of Garlic".

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